


How You Get the Girl

by sweeterthankarma



Category: The Bold Type
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Breaking Up & Making Up, F/F, Romantic Gestures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 05:36:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15599454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweeterthankarma/pseuds/sweeterthankarma
Summary: It made sense for them to break up. It really did.Kat had said it was okay when Adena explained how she couldn’t stay, and okay was the opposite of what things were but hopelessness ran through her veins fiercer than any youthful desire for reckless experience ever could, and all she could think of is how foolish she had been.But now Kat is at her doorstep, six months later, in the rain, drenched and uncaring, and Adena is staring at her.





	How You Get the Girl

**Author's Note:**

> I started this after watching 2x06 ("The Domino Effect") and only just got around to finishing it, so the open relationship plot isn't apart of it although technically, it could be. Kat's sex dream, cheating, and general sexual curiosity is implied and mentioned, however.
> 
> Title and inspiration comes from Taylor Swift's song "How You Get the Girl." I don't own this song or the lyrics, please don't sue me Taylor.

_ Stand there like a ghost, shaking from the rain _

_ She’ll open up the door, and say “are you insane?” _

_ You see it’s been a long six months _

_ When you were too afraid to tell her what you wanted  _

 

It made sense for them to break up. It really did. 

Adena needed to go back to work, to find a job that really inspired her and didn’t feel like a chore. New York felt distant and estranged to her, in a way so palpable even Sutton and Jane could tell whenever they’d ask her about her projects. Kat was too busy, too jealous, too immature —  that was what Adena had said, that she wasn’t ready for a relationship like this. Her curiosity had gotten the best of her and she knew it, regretted it,  _ hated  _ herself for it and she’d spent days, weeks apologizing. 

But it was funny, because Adena didn’t seem too ready for a relationship either, especially when she kept hanging out with her exes and spending nights out, so late she didn’t even come home to sleep in her own bed. She claimed she was working most of the time, that she needed some space after Kat’s _ betrayal, _ anyway — that’s what she called it, straight to Kat’s face, not watering her feelings down in the slightest; Kat had always loved how unapologetic and honest Adena was, but not like that. She remembers thinking she maybe deserved it, actually  _ definitely  _ deserved it after how awfully she’d screwed everything up, but she’s naturally defensive and she hates apologies so she had just mutters something about bitterness and slammed the bedroom door.

There was no huge fight, but rather just a drawn out string of tension that resulted in Adena eventually knocking on Kat’s door, saying she needed to pack. 

Kat had so much to say on the night that they fell apart, yet she watched Adena go with barely so much as a proper goodbye. She’d said it was okay when Adena explained how she couldn’t stay, and okay was the opposite of what things were but hopelessness ran through her veins fiercer than any youthful desire for reckless experience ever could, and all she could think of is how foolish she had been. 

But Kat didn’t say anything. She held Adena’s hand for a brief moment, looked at her through watery eyes in what she prayed wouldn’t be the last time, and then she wrote everything she felt down in a five page letter. Anger and apologies and love and passion and frustration and the truth, all in print and staring her in the face. Then she flung it out of the window of the apartment that now only held one resident rather than two—  and what a sad thought that was .  She watched it dance through the air, moving smooth and then falling quick, a bit like their love, a bit like Adena’s plane headed to a friend’s apartment in Toronto. Or, at least she said it was only a friend. Kat doesn’t even know why she cares anymore. They’re done, it’s over, they’re broken up for good, they were too different so it was never going to work...

 

_ I want you for worse or for better _

_ I would wait forever and ever _

_ Broke your heart, I’ll put it back together _

_ Tell her how you must have lost your mind _

_ When you left her all alone and never told her why  _

 

Except now Kat is at her doorstep, six months later, in the rain, drenched and uncaring, and Adena is staring at her. Those deep brown eyes find hers again, see her again for who she is, as they always have, and she’s missed this more than she can describe. She’s sorry, she’s tired of the drama, she knows she was stupid and she wants to move past it and she just _misses_ her. She wants to rewind time, to go back to the first day they met, to start over and love Adena the way she deserves. She wants to throw herself into her arms, lay on her lap on the couch she used to love like a second bed, to kiss her like nothing’s changed, touch her until the crack deep in her chest is healed because she knows only Adena will be able to fill it, to fix it, to make her new. 

But when Adena says her name, the warmth that it used to hold is stifled, hidden away. It’s still there, somewhere deep under formalities and shock, but it makes one thing obvious— everything’s changed. 

Still, Kat speaks. “I miss you. I’m sorry about everything. Can I please come in?”

Adena hesitates, and Kat hopes it’s only because of the concern of getting water on her hardwood floors. She lets her in though, leads her inside and wordlessly hands her a towel to dry off with. Then she waits, eyes wary and expectant.

    “Adena…” Kat starts, and she doesn’t even know where to begin, doesn’t know what words she can use to even begin to cover how she feels. “I was so stupid. I  _ am  _ so stupid for just showing up here spontaneously because you probably don’t even want me here, you’ve probably forgotten all about me by now but I haven’t forgotten you and -”

She stops herself from rambling, shakes her head to clear it, and then recites the words she’d repeated over and over in her mind for hours straight on the plane ride. 

    “I don’t know why I thought I needed anybody but you, I don’t know why I thought I needed to experiment in order to understand myself, and I also don’t think I really deserve you after all of this, but I needed to say this, okay? I needed to see you, I needed to fix things, I needed to at least try, because missing you is like, kind of the worst thing ever. And if you’re fine without me, then I need to know so that I can just…” she swallows, blinking quick in hopes of stilling the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes, “learn how to live without you.”

She doesn’t want it to feel manipulative, doesn’t want any remorse for herself and her own errors because she doesn’t deserve it and she certainly won’t benefit from it. She’s had so much in her life handed to her, especially things that Adena’s struggled so hard for, and maybe they were always in two different worlds, on two ends of the spectrum that could never quite meet where they needed to, but she doesn’t believe that. Not really, not anymore.

If they want to make things work, they just have to try —  and god, is she willing to try. 

Adena’s face is expressionless besides an obvious kind of sadness deep underneath that makes Kat wonder how long it’s been etched on her face. Adena’s always been good at hiding her feelings, for better or for worse, and Kat has seen her do so far too many times: on the subway when someone sees her hijab and moves to a different train car, in restaurants when the waiter blanches, overhearing her speak clearly and boldly — her  voice is never hushed and it’s a beautiful thing, something she’s missed terribly — about her art and the statements she’s making it with it. Even holding Kat’s hand or referring to her as her girlfriend has earned them both double takes and snide comments, yet Adena never faltered, although admittedly, sometimes Kat did. 

Adena risked her safety, her reputation, and her life to be herself, and she had decided to be herself  _ with  _ the woman she loved. That women was Kat, and yet, what had she risked?

Kat has guilted herself over and over about things she can’t go back and change, and the thought process is exhausting. Her parents are therapists, and yet she struggles to understand her own mind the way she should. Better yet, she works in the communication field and so she shouldn’t be blanking on what to say next to Adena, she shouldn’t be sweating and her mouth shouldn’t be dry and she should be  _ good _ at this, it’s her job after all, but when it comes to real life she’s far less prepared. Because this is Adena, this is her Adena, and if Kat’s being completely honest, she cares about her more than she could ever care about any job.

    “Really?” Adena says, eyebrows arched and tone mildly disbelieving, and it’s only then that Kat realizes she’s spoken out loud. 

    “Yeah,” she says through an exhale. “I mean, of course. You’re...the first woman I ever loved. You’re the first  _ person  _ I ever loved, in a real, whole, life changing kind of way.”

She pauses, then says, “I guess that’s why I flew all the way here, even if I knew the chances were pretty good that you’d reject me or moved on to someone new.”

Adena says Kat’s name again, and this time it’s proverbial. It feels like no time has passed, even if only for a brief moment, since Kat suddenly notices Adena’s eye makeup is a little different than how she used to do it. It makes something deep in her stomach jump, unsteady and anxious, as if she’s getting ready to run at any given moment. 

_ There’s a reason she didn’t reach out to you first,  _ Kat’s mind taunts.  _ She’s moved on, she’s forgotten about you. _

But with the way Adena’s looking at her, it’s obvious she hasn’t.

    “I haven’t been on a date in five months,” Adena admits coyly. 

Kat’s first instinct is to be irritated that she had gone on any dates at all after they broke up, but she can’t be surprised; she’d been on some dates herself, and Adena is Adena, after all, magnetic and charming and unforgettable. It’s just another reason Kat feels like she never should have let her go. 

    “No one I have ever met, past or present, has ever compared to you,” she says, and Kat thinks she’s dreaming. She lurches forward, the movement instinctual, and she reaches for Adena’s hands even as her hair still drips with rain water. She meets her eyes and breaks her gaze only to dip down towards her lips, and she wants to kiss her so so  _ so  _ badly it hurts. 

    “I missed you so much,” she says dumbly as Adena reaches up to tuck a curl behind her ear.

She repeats the sentiment but it doesn’t meet her eyes, and Kat notices. She’s holding back, and when she asks her about it Adena just pulls her in for a sudden hug. Kat doesn’t realize Adena’s crying until she is too.

    “I thought we were done,” she shudders a breath into Kat’s shoulder. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

It’s a jarring amount of emotion all at once, like a dam broken free or a sledgehammer through a wall, and it both breaks and heals Kat’s heart because she’d wasted so much time thinking Adena was happier now, and she’s sure she’d been thinking the same thing about her, only to find they were both miserable. This — Adena in her arms, holding her, loving her— is all she wanted, is all she’s ever wanted. 

She cries too, and then she’s laughing because it’s all so much at once, quick emotions and hard feelings and subtle jet lag on her part. It’s awkward until Adena starts laughing too. 

There’s more to unpack and figure out later on, but Adena pulls Kat in for a kiss and her lips are as soft as ever, warm and insistent and sure against her own, and Kat can’t bring herself to worry about it. They’ll figure out where they’re going soon enough, and wherever it is, they know it’ll be together, because nothing’s ever felt as good. 

Kat kisses Adena as hard as she can, presses her against the rough wood of her closet and slips her hands slow across every expanse of skin she can reach. Adena mumbles something against her lips, then against her hair as Kat nips her way down her throat, and it takes a few more tries before the words come out right.

    “You really thought I’d forget about you, just like that.”

Kat pulls away but keeps her hands stilled on Adena’s waist. “I didn’t know...I was pretty shitty to you.”

Adena just laughs. Kat wants to feign hurt at the fact that she doesn’t deny it, but then Adena’s hands come up to cradle her face and she’s tugging her in for another languid, almost torturously teasing kiss. 

    “I can’t believe you flew all the way here for me,” she whispers, and it’s a statement that’s filled with both amazement and intimacy. There’s a long, lingering moment between them where their eyes meet and don’t dart away, not even to the other’s now bare chest. They’re somewhere between the living room and the bedroom, and the clothes are falling in a path on the way there. Kat feels her whole body come alive, almost electric, at the way her love— her  _ girlfriend,  _ finally, again— looks at her. 

She just shrugs, unable to keep down her smile. “People do crazy things for love.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me in the comments or at my Tumblr @ sweeterthankarma, I'm always down to be soft and emotional over these two ladies, and the rest of The Bold Type crew.


End file.
